I scream, you scream, we all scream for... ranch dressing?

To those of you who don't know, I work in a restaurant. Lately, and more so than usual, I've noticed this influx of ranch dressing-dependent diners. I've heard of dipping French fries in ranch, and even pizza. Hell, I've partaken in both of those events. But recently I've been noticing a slightly disturbing trend. Let me explain.

I take orders for take-out at my particular place of employ. Recently, the conversations have been going like this:

"OK, I'd like a turkey sandwich with fries, and a side of ranch."

"OK."

"Next, I'd like the tuna sandwich with fries, and a side of ranch."

"OK."

"Third, a steak sandwich with fries, and a side of ranch."

"OK."

"Next, a pepperoni pizza with a side of ranch."

"OK."

"And a barbecue chicken pizza with a side of ranch, extra ranch."

Or take this experience: Next door to my restaurant is an authentic Italian pizzeria. So authentic, in fact, that there is an official Italian association that seeks to "preserve the identity and integrity of Napoletana pizza." Apparently, this association has only approved a small number of pizzerias to make this particular kind of authentic Italian pizza, and the one next door is only the 16th in the country. So, one day, a woman comes in and says,

"Uh, yeah, I'm having lunch next door at that pizza place, and, like, they don't have any ranch dressing!"

"They don't?"

"Yeah! Can you believe it?!"

"Wow. Uh, I..."

"Do you have some ranch dressing that I can have so I can take it next door and dip my pizza in it?"

Yes, she specifically walked out of the restaurant to the one next door and procured some ranch dressing from me so she could appropriately enjoy her pizza. Lady, there's a reason they don't have ranch dressing. Just like there's a reason they don't slice your pizza. It's supposed to be an authentic Italian pizza dining experience. Like the New York pizza place in town that has a sign that says, "we will gladly add pineapple to your pizza. $100.00." I gave her ample ranch regardless.

What is the deal? Everyone knows that ranch dressing is essentially mayonaise and sour cream, yeah? Is it strictly a Utah phenomena? Like fry sauce or Jell-O consumption? Is it limited to salad, French fries and pizza? Check this out:

"I'd like the calamari."

"Sounds good. I'll have it right out."

"Oh, but instead of aioli and cocktail sauce, can you just bring me some ranch?"

Ugh. Commence coronary.